AUTUMN MAN

“If there is any magic in this world, it is in the changing colours of mother nature”, she thought to herself as she looked out of the window of her bedroom stretching her arms ,welcoming a beautiful Sunday morning of autumn season. She had a glow as fresh as morning dew and an aura so radiant as if sun rose today only to grace her. So it was decided, she has to start this Sunday by taking a walk around to soak in this mesmerising morning. Autumn really is magical. Everything looks so beautiful, bright sun shining on a cool day and green grass still blushing with morning dew and a layer of dried out brown leaves resting in peace on it after completing their life circle, ready to be blown in the wind. ‘Even though everything around us is dying, it still adds up to a beautiful landscape, may be its a way of nature to tell us that death is, in fact not a horrible thing and there is something very beautiful waiting for us’, she contemplated while enjoying her walk.
It was an early Sunday morning so there were hardly any people outside, but she noticed a man at some distance sitting silently on a bench, when she reached near him she noticed that he was too still to be alive yet he was alive.  He was a tall and well built man in his ending twenties and looked very healthy still she felt like he was dying with each passing second. His posture was strong and robust but all she could feel was that he was trembling terribly and would crumble and scatter in front of her any moment now. She just couldn’t resist and had to ask, “Is something troubling you? Are you scared of something? You look so scared!”. His annoyed and captivating glance asked her ‘how stupid of you to even ask that?’ but rather he said, “Bloody hell I am!”
“But why?”
“What do you care? Why do you want to know?”
“It’s instigating. I want to know the reason, I must know it”
“Isn’t it enough for you that I am whatever you think I am, knowing everything is never a good thing”
“It is for me.  I can’t tell you why but I must know it”
“Well, I am afraid, because I was fearless once, I have been genuinely happy once. I have lived life carefree once. I felt alive once”
“And now what happened?”
“Now I just don’t know how to feel that way again”
“How can you not know now, if you knew it then?” He couldn’t control a smirk and said, “That’s the thing. I never knew. I just never questioned it. And when I did question it, I realised that I never knew”
She wanted to say something, but just didn’t know what? They both sat there quietly and after a while he silently left but he continued to observe her from a distance.
She remained there silent and still as few hours passed by. People started coming out to enjoy a beautiful autumn day with their dear ones but all she could see were the dried, dead leaves getting crushed beneath their feet. He looked at her face and it looked too still to be alive. Finally the man turned away, took a sigh of relief and started trotting away in the opposite direction.