A SPECIAL DINNER

“Some people are plain lucky. An average looking girl, good-for-nothing kind of student, still she got married in such a rich and reputed household” Raima is talking to herself while covering the distance from the bus stop to her house on her way back from office. This daily travel of her is barely of ten minutes, but this fire-breathing dragon, which we call summer sun, makes it compulsory for her to have a chit-chat, discussion or a debate with herself on any random topic. These debates and discussions often conclude on their predetermined, opinionated results. She was never charmed by summers (nobody is) but her distaste towards it has lately turned into abhorrence, as sun causes tanning, which never used to trouble her earlier but now when she is in her thirties, she cannot afford to lose her fair skin, which she feels is the last testimony of her fading beauty. But today she is not worried about sun, as she is thinking about her old schoolmate, Heeba.

 Raima got a friend request from her earlier today and when she accepted it, Heeba was available for chat. Raima figured out later that the reason Heeba is always online is that she is married into a rich family, which makes her as worthwhile and productive as the pet bitch of her in-laws, the only difference is that they would want to keep Heeba’s babies. Raima confirmed through photographs on Heeba’s profile that all the richies which she “by the way” mentioned to her were authentic. Raima continued with her mental journal on Heeba and all the rich daughter-in-laws till she reached her two-B.H.K flat and concluded it with “well, women like me earn their own bread and don’t feed on the money amassed by ancestors of their husbands”.

   She fetched herself a glass of water, while her husband, Onir came out of toilet. Onir was never handsome, first of all he was of average height, plus he was on the darker side of fairness meter. But somehow his big nose made him pass for ‘cute’ in his bachelor days, but now Raima could hardly remember the last time he turned her on. Like many pursuits of his youthful soul, Onir had given up his pursuit of six pack abs after two years of marriage and since then he had made peace with his growing paunch. “Hey! How was your day?” before she could answer he added “yaar fresh up and make a cup of tea please, I am really tired today” Raima replied with an irked look, which Onir decided to ignore completely and he started searching for some interesting channel on television.

Somehow it was hard for Raima to take it today, the most irritating part of Onir’s daily evening tea request was that he made it sound like it was only a one-day affair by adding “I am really tired today or my back is killing me or God! This traffic gives me such a headache I tell you”, plus today she was unwillingly miffed over Heeba’s issue. She was not someone who would be jealous of something this petty, but Heeba’s fortune reminded her of a lost childhood dream, a dream which she had seen but reluctantly, a dream which all Indian parents encourage their daughters to have, a dream of getting married in a good and respected household (basically a rich household and nowadays rich plus literate people). In her bachelorette days if anyone would ask her whether she had a dream like this, the answer would always be a blunt, straight forward ‘NO!’ plus she would mock that person for being so ‘shallow and materialistic’ about life and life partner. Even today her answer would be a no, but she might lack that conviction.

     Like everyday Onir found something interesting on T.V. and like everyday Raima is making tea and like every day her three year old son, Soham is jumping around her in a kitchen which wasn’t big enough to be called a pantry, loving (irritating) his mother. She took a break from stove to look at her son, her maternal instinct sprouts and she starts thinking “we need another child, he also needs a sibling but we will plan it after next year. We definitely need that time”, but he starts hopping again and ruins the moment. After four and half years of her marriage, she knows what she wants from it, but what she doesn’t know is that next year this time (the time she had assigned for planning of next child) her second child would be three months old, but she will come to know about it very soon because that ‘special’ time of month for women is around the corner, but nothing special would be happening this month, although it will be special for this reason itself.

“Is it ready yet?” Onir enquired from the living room, forcing his voice to be as soothing as possible, but still one can judge the under toned irritation of his voice rooted due to the craving of tea. She didn’t reply, but brings it after a few seconds. Onir welcomed tea with very a genuine and earnest “thank you” and Raima replied it with the most tedious and dull smile “what happened? You alright? You seem stressed out.” he asked with concern “you should ask yourself, have given me even a single moment to relax in these four years, since honeymoon? I work like a maid whole day, if not stressed then what should I be?” Raima wanted to shout it out, but she settled for “it’s this heat. Just gets into your head”. “Hmm. O.k. listen there’s chicken in the fridge, just make something special for dinner, I bumped into Rakesh bhaisaab today at metro station and I invited him and bhabhiji for dinner”.

He noticed her face expressions changing “What? You have to make dinner anyway, right? Just make something nice and special and for two extra people that’s it” she kept staring him for a while with a hidden disgust and then said “Onir! Why do I ‘have to’ make dinner? Can’t I have plans?”  she got up with the tray of empty cups and started moving “do you have any?” he asked, without answering she started pacing in that tiny, miniature kitchen,  placing utensils and vegetables at random places, even she didn’t have any idea why she was doing this. He joined her in the kitchen “I am asking you now, you can tell me” she stopped her superfluous redesigning of kitchen interiors, looked down, took a deep breath and replied “Anita asked me to come with her to the club, she wants me to join her kitty, she had one today and I also wanted to check out the club, I am thinking of becoming a member there.” Onir gave a disgusted look and replied “Rakesh bhaisaab, is my cousin but is more than a real brother to me, he has always treated me like his own brother and you know that, he’s our only family in this city, you can do this club thing any other time also, he himself said that it’s been a while since they came for a visit and will be coming today, what should I have said? ‘Let me ask my wife first?’ can I say that?” at this point of time she wanted to retaliate with full feminism “No, you should not ask, you should not ask when you will start making dinner” but she decided to store the anger inside, she was quite irritated but rather conditioned her mind with the term ‘upset’ as that feels like more feminine emotion.

Raima, now in her bedroom is trying to get his son to sleep for his evening nap, which is usually a half an hour process, while doing this she watches a little television at a low volume without actually watching it and generally thoughts about future and work start creeping in at this time, but today she started feeling nostalgic, Heeba brought in this emotion to her as well, apart from envy. She started revisiting her school time to graduation to M.B.A, how different that time was when she was a winner in every field of her small, limited life, at least for her family and herself, she was a winner. She did M.B.A at a time when the words M.B.A, I.T sector and M.N.C used to make listener’s eyes sparkle. Both Raima and Onir worked in one such M.N.C in Delhi, which was not either’s home town. They decided to get married with the same blithe attitude they decided to date and later live-in together. They both were living together in Onir’s rented one bedroom flat since four months before getting married. They both had good jobs and were managing their life very well since they were living together, how can it be any different after marriage? And like every other couple in this wide world, they knew the difference only after getting married. Both of them hailing from a middle-class background first had to bare wedding expenses, then after a year came ‘own big flat’, then a car and then came their baby boy with all kinds of policies and insurances and security plans. Even his diapers became a major expense. And they had less money and no time to spare. When Raima was done with reminiscing her past, her kid was deep asleep, suddenly her glaze went up to the cabinet on which was placed a D.V.D of Italian classic “Bicycle Thief”. This D.V.D aroused a pang of emotion in her. She was always a movie buff and used to watch at least one movie per day before her marriage, even in first one year of her marriage she watched at least 2-3 films in a week, but she had bought this D.V.D last year which still had its cellophane seal un-opened. She reached for that D.V.D. but forgot that her son’s arm was on her lap and she accidently flipped him, which awakened him for a few seconds, but after some hasty patting, he went back to sleep, those few seconds gave her a stir of terror as the whole process of crying and nagging came in front of her eyes for those few seconds. After a few moments when she gulped in that terrifying feeling, she felt tears rolling down her cheeks, the tears were not of sorrow, but they reflected a strong, resilient realization.

 Onir had also decided to take a nap for a while before he could get ready for the evening, (special guests need special hosting). He woke up, still in sweet intoxication of evening nap, called for his wife but got no reply. He found out pretty soon that she was not home as there weren’t many places to look for in there flat. He took out his cell phone to call her, but saw that she had messaged him while he was sleeping

   “I am going with Anita, will return before Rakesh Bhaisaab will come over, order something from restaurant or you can make your famous chicken recipe from college days, which you once made for me when we started going out, its taste is still fresh in my mind and I want to feel it again.”